Wow.

I really wasn't going to post anything here, because I don't want it to seem like we're going tit for tat, but I just really need to say a couple things...

One, don't make it seem like I'm some horrible being. Yeah, I had sex with someone else, but that would only matter if we were together. I tried to bring you back into my life as a friend, figuring you could know this stuff and not lose it, but I guess not. Second, I'm living my life independent of what you want from me. Why? Because I see now that you really couldn't let go...You can't have your cake and eat it too. I WILL talk to other women, I WILL find other women attractive. I just want to be able to have you involved in my decision making and giving me advice like a friend would.

No, I'm not completely over you, but based on what happened, I'm farther along that road. I hope you're heading in the right direction...

And don't you guys hate when someone's dropping subliminal statuses and what not, blasting you, and a good amount of people know that it's you the person is talking about. But then they apologize all secretly. Thanks. Thanks for making me look and feel like shit, and then not correcting the world's view. But I'd rather take the apology (always accepted), just telling people to not be as public while you're still dealing with what happened. The public can't do shit for you. But I guess venting to no one/everyone is still a good thing, that's very true.

Hopefully by staying out of sight and out of mind, I can not inadvertently cause you pain by moving on with life.

Blank.

I wish I could say I'm ready for this, but I'm not. I'm tired of the back and forth, but honestly, I'm not really ready to let you go. How did we even end up here in the first place? Where did it go wrong? I don't even think it was when we started dating. I think, somewhere along the way, you started to doubt. You didn't believe that we could make it, and you doubted that I loved you for you. You doubted that you were pretty enough, and smart enough for me. You even began to doubt I love you...

You don't think I had those same fears?! I wasn't sure it was going to work either, I asked myself if I loved you...and I dove in. I went into this so deeply, and with as much as I could give, that I began to doubt whether "me" even still exists. I love you SO much, your hair, even after the cut. Your smile, your intelligence. But your own self-doubts and self-esteem issues I do NOT love. Why can't you just let someone love you? Is that so hard? Do you have to mess it up? Do you still not think you deserve anything good? Does that feeling, that sentiment reside in the back of your mind. Tell me! Let it be known so that I may have peace and closure! You KNOW I love you, there is no doubting that. But until you see that, and are willing to put forth the same amount of effort, I have to push away. I can't do it to myself, it has to stop. I think I'm dying few years sooner. I guess every girl that has screwed me is just karma for the ones I've messed up.

Wait, where are they? That's right, there's only ONE that I know of. And we've made peace with that. Maybe this is what you get if you mess with a woman of God? A lifetime of suffering. How lovely. I honestly can't apologize for that one enough...but the show must go on.

So now, I'm trying to wipe the slate clean with us. Let's just pretend this never happened. We never dated, and we never broke up, for whatever reason you choose to give me this time. I'm giving it up to God, and going about my business.

Tabula rasa.

Laugh!

Interesting picture. Just letting you know I still use this thing...sometimes.

God Bless The Child...

Who must fill out an appeal form for a drop. Whoa boy, here we go....

"Do You Remember?"

I'm really feeling this track right about now, and I don't even know why I'm up. Oh yeah, because I slept from 7-2AM, makes sense. Ohio based crew, this is a new track off of their upcoming EP, We In The House. Enjoy.

Fly.Union - When We

Return

This blog is about to undergo a resurrection. I guess I need somewhere to express my feeling on certain situations, vent, and post interesting stuff that I like. To anyone who reads this, be prepared.

"How Could You Be So Heartless?"

http://www.zshare.net/audio/20614334b605967b/

Just dropping this off to the 'Ye stans, it's the full version of "Heartless". I personally think, after a couple listens, that this should've been the first single, instead of "Love Lockdown".